Hi everyone! This is my first post, and I wanted to share a short fic I wrote about B'Elanna and Chakotay (which is posted to my journal). Feedback? Thank you in advance! ; )
Title: After the Storm
Pairing/Characters: Chakotay, B'Elanna Torres
Spoilers: Persistance of Vision
Summary: It's okay for a student to have a crush on a mentor. Chakotay's POV.
B’Elanna shifts uncomfortably on the chair.
“Spit it out, B’Elanna,” I tell her. “What’s on your mind?”
For a moment, there is silence, broken only by the rasp of cloth of cloth as she moves her weight around awkwardly. Her eyes skim the room, looking at everything but me. “The Bothan,” she admits finally, looking up.
“Ah.” I set down my light-pen and give her my attention, leaning forward and resting my elbows on the desk.
Her eyes meet mine briefly, then dart away. I wait patiently—-sooner or later it will come out—-and she gives vent to a sigh, realizing I am waiting for her to begin.
All at once, I feel bad for her. She’s been wanting to speak to me for a few days now—I could see it in her face—but I kept putting it off. Captain Janeway and I were just so busy with repairs, and then there was my own dream to consider…
“Is this about what you saw?” I ask, more gently this time.
“Yes…and no.” She huffs out another sigh, this one frustrated. “I…is it true the Bothan made you see what you wanted the most?”
I lean back, rubbing a finger across the arm of my chair thoughtfully. “Not necessarily. The visions seem to have brought repressed emotions or desires to the surface…feelings that we were refusing to face for some reason.” I pause. “Why do you ask?”
She is still steadfastly refusing to meet my gaze, and is instead staring at one of the hangings on my office wall. “I’m…not proud of what I saw.”
“Neither am I,” I say quietly. She looks at me bleakly, something painful hidden in her face. I lean forward to emphasize my point, resting my elbows on the desk. “We all have fantasies, B’Elanna. It’s normal—-healthy, even, to have a good daydream now and then. It’s okay not to be proud of what you dream about; it’s a very personal, private act that shouldn’t be violated. What we fantasize about in the sanctity of our own minds is for us alone to know.” I sit back slowly, allowing myself a small smile. “Besides, if it was an enjoyable dream…” I pause, letting her grasp my meaning by herself. “Just take it for what’s its worth, all right?”
She gives me a penetrating look, and I have no doubt she’s wondering what I dreamed about that I’m ashamed to admit.
I know how she sees me—straight up-and-down Chakotay, with strict morals and a ready ear. I know she looks up to me. Her father left when she was young, and her mother was less than nurturing…I know she sees me as a sort of benevolent father-figure, someone who helps guide her through the rough spots and listens to what she has to say. And a little selfishly, I have to admit I’ve kind of enjoyed having someone look up to me. It gives me a little twinge of self-satisfaction.
But as she looks up at me now, a suspicion begins to form in my mind, and I think I have an idea of what she dreamt about. Her eyes are troubled as they meet mine, and shame is clearly written on her face.
“B’Elanna,” I say as gently as I can. “It’s always better to face your feelings than to suppress them.” I pause, feeling the need to lighten the mood. “Otherwise you’ll end up like Tuvok, and that’s the last thing we need on this ship.”
She half-snorts, a smile playing on her lips, and stands. “Thanks, Chakotay.”
“Anytime.” I lean back in my chair, feeling very much the benevolent father-figure. “Feel free to drop by again—it gives me an excuse to not have these crew evaluations done when the captain asks.” I hold up a padd.
B’Elanna snorts again. “See you later, big man.” The doors hiss open, and she pauses in the act of leaving. I look up. “Hey…how about a game of hoverball tonight?”
I point the padd at her. “Tomorrow, eighteen hundred on Holodeck Two. And get ready to lose again.”
She flares up. I suppress a smile as I get the desired reaction out of her. “Again? What do you mean, again? Because if I remember correctly—-”
“Goodbye, B’Elanna,” I say mildly, cutting her off.
She half-smiles. “See you at eighteen hundred, then.”
I incline my head to the side, and she leaves with a last look, door swishing shut behind her.
No, I think, leaning back in my chair. I’m not proud of what I saw at all.